Rose's courage faltered and wavered again. Right. Lonely. Even with friends, he was lonely. They couldn't stay, and he often wound up in places like this against his will, and he was just so good and tried so hard, and nothing was fair. Nothing was ever fair.
Her eyes misted up again, failing at holding onto the anger. He shouldn't have died, he should have kept fighting, he should have--
He was trying really hard to be cute and it was working, much like when she was distressed about him regenerating. She'd been mad then too, worked so hard to get him back, only to have him change, and reinforce how little she did know him after all... Reminding her that they were leagues apart even when she thought they were so alike.
"We didn't fight, it wasn't like that," she gently took his hand in hers. It wasn't rough like the first time the Doctor held her hands and told her they were falling through space, clinging to the surface of the planet if they let go... Nor was it as big and gentle as her dumb puppy-eyed fluffy haired, hyper Tigger version's either, but they were still sort of comforting, even though Rose was even more terrified than usual. She needed to protect him, she thought he would be protecting her, but in reality when had that ever been the case? So fine. She would protect him.
"I'm just..." she faltered, fumbling hard for words. To put the feeling into an actual thought and words, to look it directly in the face. "I'm going to say the wrong thing, and things could get worse, yeah?" she loved him, the future. But he was here. But she didn't know this one yet. And he didn't know her at all.
She desperately wanted a Doctor hug, but couldn't do it. She could still see through the unshed tears, but they refused to blink away.
Secrets. So many secrets.
"Come get chips with me. Help me, yeah? It'll come to me... what I can say or not, but only through practice. In a... calmer setting. Something familiar. Sound okay?" she finally looked back at him hopefully.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: 2
Date: 2019-07-03 04:04 am (UTC)Her eyes misted up again, failing at holding onto the anger. He shouldn't have died, he should have kept fighting, he should have--
He was trying really hard to be cute and it was working, much like when she was distressed about him regenerating. She'd been mad then too, worked so hard to get him back, only to have him change, and reinforce how little she did know him after all... Reminding her that they were leagues apart even when she thought they were so alike.
"We didn't fight, it wasn't like that," she gently took his hand in hers. It wasn't rough like the first time the Doctor held her hands and told her they were falling through space, clinging to the surface of the planet if they let go... Nor was it as big and gentle as her dumb puppy-eyed fluffy haired, hyper Tigger version's either, but they were still sort of comforting, even though Rose was even more terrified than usual. She needed to protect him, she thought he would be protecting her, but in reality when had that ever been the case? So fine. She would protect him.
"I'm just..." she faltered, fumbling hard for words. To put the feeling into an actual thought and words, to look it directly in the face. "I'm going to say the wrong thing, and things could get worse, yeah?" she loved him, the future. But he was here. But she didn't know this one yet. And he didn't know her at all.
She desperately wanted a Doctor hug, but couldn't do it. She could still see through the unshed tears, but they refused to blink away.
Secrets. So many secrets.
"Come get chips with me. Help me, yeah? It'll come to me... what I can say or not, but only through practice. In a... calmer setting. Something familiar. Sound okay?" she finally looked back at him hopefully.