Rose, uncaring that he was a demon, flomped on top of his personal space and looked up at the sky. It was kind of a weird conundrum. How did you prove there was no plan?
Rose hummed.
"Dunno!" she admitted, blase, with a laugh. "When I did the Bad Wolf thing, I created a trail of breadcrumbs so I could follow them..." she chewed her bottom lip in thought. "It means... if I see it... when I see it, it's a signal from myself to myself to get back to the Doctor, that there's always a way..."
That feeling of wanting to throw up rose up in her again and she clenched a fist and rolled over, sulking just as hard as the emo-goth demon.
"Unless I got it all wrong, and it's just about fighting the darkness..."
There was so many things she hated about that. Herself for caring. "Like I should even bloody care if I don't find him!!!!" except that made her want to cry, and she hated that too, and she hated that it was even a possibility, and she resented that if there was a god, she didn't seem willing to speak to them and tell them what to do, and like with the Bad Wolf -- Rose groaned, "But that's the thing, right, yeah??? I couldn't just tell myself what to do or I wouldn't do it."
All the snuggling to Crowley's legs. "So I guess......." she conceded, very unwillingly, "If there is a plan, which I still don't think there is, because there's no bloody point -- then it would have to be.... kind of stupid." She rubbed her temples with her fingers, trying to massage her brain through her skull. "When I rescued Donna I could only tell her Bad Wolf and hope the Doctor got the message. Every time I tried to be more direct, it didn't work. So if it's super ridiculously stupid," Stupid, not ineffable, in Rose's opinion, "Then it's all just the only way it works out--"
More groans and wolf puppy whines and she wished she had a pillow to cover her face with.
"I DON'T WANNA!!!!!" more wolf puppy howling to no one, since she didn't believe God listened or cared, even if she had expanded her disbelief to remove the idea that God wasn't a thing.
She rolled back over to face Crowley's stomach.
"Look, listen, maybe there is some stupid ineffable plan, but sod it!!! Sod all of it!!! We don't have to do anything we don't wanna, yeah??? So let's just...." she poked his stomach. She hated herself for looking to him for direction too. She could direct herself... except... she'd just been following the Bad Wolf trail, and while that was herself, it was cheating, and Rose preferred cheating to be sure, but without that trail she just wanted to hold the Doctor's hand and let him do it, and it was such a pain in the--
"Do whatever comes to us! Maybe it'll be part of some stupid plan, but then at least we'll get rewarded with yanno... fun and stuff!!!" a pout. And she rolled back over. And sulked. Planning fun without the Doctor almost seemed like blasphemy to her. She got up and prowled around angrily. "He should be here." Growl growl growl growl. "I'll never forgive him if he's not...." hackles on end, more growling.
"I DUNNO!!!!!" she flailed exasperatedly. "Right place, right time, story of my life, literally, and I made it that way, and maybe she made it that way, and it's just so stupid!!! So let's just... Fight to get what we want!!! She can put us here, lead us here, say it's all some big stupid plan, but carrot and stick, right? Anytime we get the stick, let's bite whoever tries, and steal the carrots, not led ourselves be conned!!!" She raised a fist in the air and then a middle finger. "DON'T THINK I WON'T FIGHT YOU, BECAUSE I BLOODY WELL WILL!!! I'M NOT GONNA PUT MYSELF THROUGH ALL THIS FOR NOTHING I'M NOT THAT GOOD!!!!" rawr rawr rawr rage.
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Rose hummed.
"Dunno!" she admitted, blase, with a laugh. "When I did the Bad Wolf thing, I created a trail of breadcrumbs so I could follow them..." she chewed her bottom lip in thought. "It means... if I see it... when I see it, it's a signal from myself to myself to get back to the Doctor, that there's always a way..."
That feeling of wanting to throw up rose up in her again and she clenched a fist and rolled over, sulking just as hard as the emo-goth demon.
"Unless I got it all wrong, and it's just about fighting the darkness..."
There was so many things she hated about that. Herself for caring. "Like I should even bloody care if I don't find him!!!!" except that made her want to cry, and she hated that too, and she hated that it was even a possibility, and she resented that if there was a god, she didn't seem willing to speak to them and tell them what to do, and like with the Bad Wolf -- Rose groaned, "But that's the thing, right, yeah??? I couldn't just tell myself what to do or I wouldn't do it."
All the snuggling to Crowley's legs. "So I guess......." she conceded, very unwillingly, "If there is a plan, which I still don't think there is, because there's no bloody point -- then it would have to be.... kind of stupid." She rubbed her temples with her fingers, trying to massage her brain through her skull. "When I rescued Donna I could only tell her Bad Wolf and hope the Doctor got the message. Every time I tried to be more direct, it didn't work. So if it's super ridiculously stupid," Stupid, not ineffable, in Rose's opinion, "Then it's all just the only way it works out--"
More groans and wolf puppy whines and she wished she had a pillow to cover her face with.
"I DON'T WANNA!!!!!" more wolf puppy howling to no one, since she didn't believe God listened or cared, even if she had expanded her disbelief to remove the idea that God wasn't a thing.
She rolled back over to face Crowley's stomach.
"Look, listen, maybe there is some stupid ineffable plan, but sod it!!! Sod all of it!!! We don't have to do anything we don't wanna, yeah??? So let's just...." she poked his stomach. She hated herself for looking to him for direction too. She could direct herself... except... she'd just been following the Bad Wolf trail, and while that was herself, it was cheating, and Rose preferred cheating to be sure, but without that trail she just wanted to hold the Doctor's hand and let him do it, and it was such a pain in the--
"Do whatever comes to us! Maybe it'll be part of some stupid plan, but then at least we'll get rewarded with yanno... fun and stuff!!!" a pout. And she rolled back over. And sulked. Planning fun without the Doctor almost seemed like blasphemy to her. She got up and prowled around angrily. "He should be here." Growl growl growl growl. "I'll never forgive him if he's not...." hackles on end, more growling.
"I DUNNO!!!!!" she flailed exasperatedly. "Right place, right time, story of my life, literally, and I made it that way, and maybe she made it that way, and it's just so stupid!!! So let's just... Fight to get what we want!!! She can put us here, lead us here, say it's all some big stupid plan, but carrot and stick, right? Anytime we get the stick, let's bite whoever tries, and steal the carrots, not led ourselves be conned!!!" She raised a fist in the air and then a middle finger. "DON'T THINK I WON'T FIGHT YOU, BECAUSE I BLOODY WELL WILL!!! I'M NOT GONNA PUT MYSELF THROUGH ALL THIS FOR NOTHING I'M NOT THAT GOOD!!!!" rawr rawr rawr rage.