She just hangs her head morosely. It kills her all over again.
"My mission wasn't to find him. It was to find help to stop the darkness. He was the only one I thought who even could know anything about it, but now I know better. My mission was to stop the darkness... so yeah. If I didn't... If I don't..." a hiccup and she starts crying again. Deep breath. "If I don't do that... if I don't fight the darkness, if I just ignore it, to keep looking for him... even if I did find him again, I couldn't look him in the eye, he wouldn't be proud of me, he'd probably be really disappointed and angry...."
She looked up at the sky. "And might not forgive me, even if there was anything left to go back to."
Rose was really mixed up. Half of her wanted to crumple into a ball and cry her heart out. Back to the day she realized she was stuck in Pete's Universe. "I thought Bad Wolf meant I could get back to him, but maybe it's just where I'm supposed to be. Some things are bigger than just... who you're with." A bitter laugh through the tears she wiped off with one hand. "I do not relish my Mum's bloody 'I told you so.' She'll be relieved, and that's even worse, yeah?" A bitter hiccup. "I'm not useless without him. I'm not. I saved my world fine on my own. Saved him without him knowing it. And it's fine, I don't need reward or recognition, I just--"
She grinds her teeth and growls, "It'd be nice to know he won't be bloody dead, and pathetic, and hurting and lonely and--" she completely breaks down into sobbing anyway, the anger not quite enough to power over it.
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She just hangs her head morosely. It kills her all over again.
"My mission wasn't to find him. It was to find help to stop the darkness. He was the only one I thought who even could know anything about it, but now I know better. My mission was to stop the darkness... so yeah. If I didn't... If I don't..." a hiccup and she starts crying again. Deep breath. "If I don't do that... if I don't fight the darkness, if I just ignore it, to keep looking for him... even if I did find him again, I couldn't look him in the eye, he wouldn't be proud of me, he'd probably be really disappointed and angry...."
She looked up at the sky. "And might not forgive me, even if there was anything left to go back to."
Rose was really mixed up. Half of her wanted to crumple into a ball and cry her heart out. Back to the day she realized she was stuck in Pete's Universe. "I thought Bad Wolf meant I could get back to him, but maybe it's just where I'm supposed to be. Some things are bigger than just... who you're with." A bitter laugh through the tears she wiped off with one hand. "I do not relish my Mum's bloody 'I told you so.' She'll be relieved, and that's even worse, yeah?" A bitter hiccup. "I'm not useless without him. I'm not. I saved my world fine on my own. Saved him without him knowing it. And it's fine, I don't need reward or recognition, I just--"
She grinds her teeth and growls, "It'd be nice to know he won't be bloody dead, and pathetic, and hurting and lonely and--" she completely breaks down into sobbing anyway, the anger not quite enough to power over it.